Was just chatting with my mum over a cuppa about how my life has changed quite a fair bit since I graduated from Squareness Inc. I've been working approximately 12 hours a day. yes, TWELVE HOURS. I stay in the workroom till almost e.v.e.r.y.o.n.e has left and have to have the uncle who shuts the gates come up to chase me home. Am I turning into a workaholic? I don't really know. I haven't been able to have weekday dinner dates for the past three weeks or so since I started cuz sometimes work is just unpredictable. I've been thrown the craziest and most dfemanding of all responsibilities possible and it doesn't seem to end there.
If I sound like I am complaining, I am, I guess, but only a fraction. For the most part of it, I love it there. I like the adults I work with and LOVE the kids I err DEAL with. Ha! Kids are kids, I've come to see. They are the same everywhere - they look for the same things, wish for the same things, say and do the same things. Thank God, I can still identify with them at this point.
I've learnt so much in my 3 weeks. I've done more, seen more, experienced more, definitely far more, than they sorta prepared me for at Squareness Inc. I say "sorta prepared me for" because really, my year at SI did realistically speaking, next to nothing in the preparation it was supposed to do. I was so Operationally Un-Ready when I stepped in three weeks ago. I am trying to work as hard and fast as I can to undo that status quo. ;)
It has really not been easy, but I've discovered in the course of this struggle, physically, emotionally and mentally (yeah, a triple whammy, I dare say!) that I've found this place in me that has a crazy-ass amount of resilience and adaptability, and I am that bit more confident now than I was previously. *applause* I'm also learning real fast about trust and loyalty and it is a different ball-game altogether when such values are tested in the workplace environment and sometimes, amusingly, kids do a better job at keeping these values than adults do.
The three weeks have been overwhelming, tranquil, infuriating, satisfying, scary and amusing all at once. I guess it is because of the environment and my having to adapt to it, requiring me to question my values and beliefs along the way (not that that's an entirely bad thing). And I do realise now, just how protected we are from such err emotional turmoil when we are students. We just have to be us, and the world is an accepting and forgiving place. Once we cross the line and become working adults, the world is less accepting and forgiving because it is constantly analysing, judging and evaluating. I guess this is perhaps the real thing now, I am in the REAL WORLD ala MTV's reality hit series (same concept, slightly different reality).
My wish at this current moment is to spend my time at work more efficiently, so I can get more done in much less time. I will learn this soon enough, I've been assured. =) I also want to meet my DOLLIEshi, Jo-Mo-Fo and my Pescador who is a few shores away (Happy Birthday once again, sweet!). I want to have endless tele-conversations with my BFF cuz he's the one who had me grounded then, has me grounded now and will have me grounded for a long time to come. I want to have my long forsaken date with Capoeira again. I just somehow think everything will fall into place again when I am joga-ing like I used to, not so long ago.
At the moment, it's a case of so many things to do, so little time, but I am working it out. I love you guys for being there and being my tireless cheerleaders. Thank you, Custard and Tuna, you darlings make so many things worthwhile. Thank you, Mother and Ah B. Thank You for always making your presence and love felt, regardless.
If I sound like I am complaining, I am, I guess, but only a fraction. For the most part of it, I love it there. I like the adults I work with and LOVE the kids I err DEAL with. Ha! Kids are kids, I've come to see. They are the same everywhere - they look for the same things, wish for the same things, say and do the same things. Thank God, I can still identify with them at this point.
I've learnt so much in my 3 weeks. I've done more, seen more, experienced more, definitely far more, than they sorta prepared me for at Squareness Inc. I say "sorta prepared me for" because really, my year at SI did realistically speaking, next to nothing in the preparation it was supposed to do. I was so Operationally Un-Ready when I stepped in three weeks ago. I am trying to work as hard and fast as I can to undo that status quo. ;)
It has really not been easy, but I've discovered in the course of this struggle, physically, emotionally and mentally (yeah, a triple whammy, I dare say!) that I've found this place in me that has a crazy-ass amount of resilience and adaptability, and I am that bit more confident now than I was previously. *applause* I'm also learning real fast about trust and loyalty and it is a different ball-game altogether when such values are tested in the workplace environment and sometimes, amusingly, kids do a better job at keeping these values than adults do.
The three weeks have been overwhelming, tranquil, infuriating, satisfying, scary and amusing all at once. I guess it is because of the environment and my having to adapt to it, requiring me to question my values and beliefs along the way (not that that's an entirely bad thing). And I do realise now, just how protected we are from such err emotional turmoil when we are students. We just have to be us, and the world is an accepting and forgiving place. Once we cross the line and become working adults, the world is less accepting and forgiving because it is constantly analysing, judging and evaluating. I guess this is perhaps the real thing now, I am in the REAL WORLD ala MTV's reality hit series (same concept, slightly different reality).
My wish at this current moment is to spend my time at work more efficiently, so I can get more done in much less time. I will learn this soon enough, I've been assured. =) I also want to meet my DOLLIEshi, Jo-Mo-Fo and my Pescador who is a few shores away (Happy Birthday once again, sweet!). I want to have endless tele-conversations with my BFF cuz he's the one who had me grounded then, has me grounded now and will have me grounded for a long time to come. I want to have my long forsaken date with Capoeira again. I just somehow think everything will fall into place again when I am joga-ing like I used to, not so long ago.
At the moment, it's a case of so many things to do, so little time, but I am working it out. I love you guys for being there and being my tireless cheerleaders. Thank you, Custard and Tuna, you darlings make so many things worthwhile. Thank you, Mother and Ah B. Thank You for always making your presence and love felt, regardless.
1 comment:
jo-mo-fo-bo-so-ko-lo
want to meet u SOON!!
free up some time for me if u can ok? just a quick dinner will do.. miss u lots..
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