Dreams

At certain times in our lives, certain feelings of anguish and pain may overwhelm us and we feel like we just cannot go on. At times like these, we feel our dreams slipping through the tiny gaps in our fingers. We try to grab at them but they just don't stay. Like sand, they slowly but surely slip away.

Recently, I talked to a really close friend of mine, and we realised that we were going through the same thing: feeling as though we were losing sight of our dreams. As though the meanings of our lives were being lost as the minutes ticked by. We were cranky all the time, panicky at the tiniest setbacks - we were basically losing ourselves. We kept telling ourselves that it was just the stress of school - the numerous projects, deadlines, assignments, tests, deadlines, did i mention deadlines? - that was rendering us half-crazy zombies. We had not slept for more than an hour everyday for the past 3 weeks and we were just losing our minds.

But when we sat down to talk, a few days ago, we realised it was more than just that. It was us, as whole beings, not just the factors outside of ourselves that caused those negative feelings; feelings that pointed at the possibility of perhaps never being able to live our dreams. We had changed. We were different people now. We are different from when we first set our dreams.

The realisation hit us hard. It may sound really dumb, but it did. We hadn't tackled the possibility in our minds. We had looked everywhere else for answers, but we hadn't looked within ourselves; we hadn't searched in the eyes of the girl in the mirror. We had forgotten that it was US who mattered, yes, more than our dreams. We needed to remember that we had to want those dreams now, as much as we did then.

Yes, we both want our dreams, that's why we were scared and anxious when we felt like they were being snatched away from us. We still want the same ends for our lives. We still yearn for the same things we yearned for back then (whenever that was, it doesn't matter now). And it felt like a renewal. A revised edition of our book of dreams. That moment of revelation was simply beautiful. And it brought us this strange sense of calm and relief. Almost as though no one could topple us again. Us and our dreams.

So as we charge full on towards the finish line, wish us luck. We're just fighting everyday to keep our dreams alive. We struggle toward the end with the knowledge that yes, our dreams are still out there waiting to be realised. And no, we will never stop dreaming. Never.