Relationships

Relationships are the almost invisible forces that hold society together. Almost invisible because we're aware they exist, yet they do not take a physical form. The very nature of a relationship between two individuals is complex, be it a mother-daughter relationship, possibly the simplest bond formed between two not-so-random individuals (depending on which doctrine you subscribe to) or the relationship between two lovers, possibly, a bond formed between two random individuals (unless one, like me, believes in the invisible hands of Fate and Destiny). What is interesting with relationships in general is the paradox that engulfs them: the most straight-forward of all relationships could well be the the most complicated and vice-versa. Such is the complexity of Life. Nothing is ever simple, some say. I disagree, mostly, but there are times, when we can't run away from what may just be a universal truth: nothing IS ever simple! And so, that is reason enough that relationships shouldn't ever be simple, right?

wrong.

See, if you ask me, life is complicated enough as it is, why add on to the shit, if you don't mind my crude language. So, relationships should be made simpler to save us all that extra trouble, no?

Well, before I go on, I should first spell out the reason (well, sort of) for delving into this topic outta the blue: i had a pretty long conversation about 2 days back, with a friend whom I've known for years now, and to cut a long story short, his life is now (unnecessarily, i feel) complicated by his extra-familial relationship (was just trying to coin a fancy name for boy-girl relationship, but it so doesn't work). Back when we were close friends (and when we were younger, obviously), our lives basically revolved around school-family-friends-CCAs-religious commitments and mind you, that was bad enough, but much less complicated, i assure you. However, with the addition of just one more person into his life, my my, life's become crazier by like about ten-fold (and no i'm not exaggerating).

Ok, to be fair, relationships like this, are not all about the bad taste in your mouth after you down some eeky cough syrup; they are also very much about the initial sweet taste of the cough syrup (ok, the analogy sucks, but i think you get it). But, my question is, bad taste vs sweet taste: which outlasts (outplays and outwits too, all you Survivor fans) the other? THAT is where the imbalance in the whole relationship equation (sorry, i-totally-don't-get-math people) arises, isn't it?! Let's not talk about the happily ever after relationships, cuz honestly, they're happy so let me not ruin it for them (plus, sorry anti-math people, their equations are imbalanced in the RIGHT way). Let's talk, instead, about the my-life-has-gone-topsy-turvy-cuz-of-my-crazy-girlfriend/boyfriend (and the equation is imbalanced in the wrong way) kinda relationships. Wait! Before that, for those who know me, you know crazy is good, cuz basically crazy is me (another equation!), but.. what i'm concerned with here, are the C.R.A.Z.Y-s, which are something else altogether. Understood? (Even if you don't, just nod in agreement, it'll make it all easier, trust me.) Ok, let's push on..

Let's paint a basic picture of the kinda relationships we're talking about (so that we're all on the same plane):

Boy meets girl. (Or girl meets boy, whichever suits you better.) They talk, exchange numbers, talk somemore, ask each other out (sounds weird, but you get the picture). Go out more often and fall in like (just cuz love is a strong word i don't wanna use any-o-how) with each other. One asks the other if they can be more than friends and the other agrees. So, they become a couple. Everything's fine and dandy for the first coupla months (I have my doubts, cuz problems can arise even within the first few weeks, but let's cut this basic-picture-couple some slack ya?). Then, things start becoming, well, not so fine and dandy anymore.

Ok, so what does one do when the cauldron starts bubbling and all the problems start spewing out one by one (sometimes, more than one though. Have mercy, I say!)? That's where the complications start, don't they? That's why I think relationships should be kept simple (if that's ever possible) since Life is messed up enough without complicated relationships to add on to the already stinking pile of poo! BUT, simple relationship: that itself sounds like an oxymoron, no? Ha! But, if we really think about it, I'm sure all of us do know friends or friends of friends who are (i stress are, cuz were would put them in the "basic-picture-couple" category) in long and happy relationships (that possibly lead to marriage), so, perhaps finding out what works for them might help? However, honestly, the key to a good (and simple, in my terms) relationship lies in the accurate selection or choice of partner. Think about it: if your partner and you are just poles apart, despite the chemistry, what's the use, right? Or if the situation was reversed and if you think alike, but lack chemistry, your relationship just won't have the sparks to keep it going, agree?

OK, so where am I going with all this, you're beginning to question. Simple. (sorry for over-using this word in this entry) Choose the right partner. If that means making a few wrong choices on the way (ask nitz about wrong choices, you say. i agree. ha!), then make the wrong choices. But keep your eyes open and spot the right one when the right one so obviously struts right past you, you heard me? And (I have to pull in my favourite two words in the dictionary at the moment): if FATE and DESTINY decide to co-operate with you, you may just end up living (with your chosen one) happily ever after.

An after-note:

See, if you ask me, the rationale is simple (since I've used the word so much, one more wouldn't hurt right?). With some things in Life, we just aren't given any options to choose from. But with relationships, as complex as they get, we DO get a choice (except for family, some may argue, but I've a we-choose-our-family theory too, which I shall save for a possible part II to this entry, what do you say?). So as the wise men say, (altogether now) CHOOSE WISELY. and be happy. and live the SIMPLE life. Ha.