Wow...once again.. I realise I haven't blogged in like nearly 2 months! and since dec 2004!

I must be like the most UNcommitted blogger man.. haha.. well let's see if 2005 brings any changes to this eh?

Hmm.. let's see.. currently I am really busy wid school stuff.. n loadsa Capoeira, n i've reverted a lil back to the old Me that thinks quite a bit.. so I dun feel that at-peace wid myself, but these thgs will get sorted out in time to come. And it helps since I know the cause for these "unpeaceful" moments and I'm trying to take the easy way out by letting time decide. So yeah "let's wait and see"..

I've learnt even more about the nitty-gritty of friendships in the past month or so. Many changes have occurred, some will affect things from now on, some will be best forgotten. Once again my mum's advice to me sometime back echoes in my ears: "Don't get too close to ppl, when u do THGS happen." And how true, in the past mth, a lotta my friendships have been tested n i've come to realise that Mum's words often hold a lot of truth in them: Things started to take a turn for the worse when I became a little too close to a few friends of mine.. n that scares me.. especially how they were all upset wid me at the same bloody time.. widout realising that a frenship requires a fair share of giving and taking.. but i guess not everyone sees things the same way I do. I've also come to learn that some things matter more to some people than to others, n that although I treat all my friends the same, some pple may just not be comfortable wid that or wid where my priorities lie. Well, it's amazing to me that till now, I haven't lost my head n shouted at someone or other for the way they tried to make me feel abt myself throughout the entire "episode" but yeah, guess I've learnt sthg abt myself too - that as awry as thgs may seem, I still try my best to keep a level head and sort thgs out, and I thank God for that, cuz I can only imagine what would have happened if I had become upset wid my friends for being upset wid me. But thg is, frenships require a lot of work, n it takes two hands to clap, so at the end of the day I get quite puzzled at the way I try my best to keep cool but the next person doesn't see a need for that.. but ultimately, I just want ethg to work out and for everyone to be happy, so there.

The other thg I've learnt abt frenships is that thgs change after a period of time, even if it's after years. While you may value the frenship wid all your heart, the person u share the frenship wid may not. That person KNOWS that he can count on u to be there, but it is interesting to hear his response if u were to ask him if he plans to be there for u... So, I wonder, how thgs can change so quickly, sometimes overnight. Does this mean the value of yr frenship has declined over the yrs? Or is it apt for me to think that such ppl dun value the frenship in the 1st place, n that the frenship was to their convenience during the earlier periods, n now that they have "moved on" it's perfectly alrite to drop their frens off at the next stop and never look back? Well.. sometimes I think these questions will never be answered (maybe they're better left unanswered) n worse still, these ppl who hurt others wid their insincerity n insensitivity may never know the impact their axns have on others. Well in case you who are reading this are wondering, I am not entirely a victim of this scenario, thou certain thgs may apply, but this is just something I've seen n heard countless times in the past few mths, and sometimes the thgs these "frens" say or do, can totally throw us off.. like "what the heck was he thinking man?!" kinda throw off.. heh.

Coming to slightly more light-hearted things, my brother started Sec 1 this year.. n he seems to be blending in real well wid the whole Secondary school setting which is a huge relief. Those who know me real well will know that I love my brother to bits and am quite protective of him, so u can imagine how worried I must have been when he first started school. Heh. But.. guess so far he has settled in well, is already performing wid the school's main band, has countless soccer buddies, is doing fairly well academically n gosh, even has secret admirers.. Haha! So well, God bless him n hope ethg turns out good for this awesome kiddo. Still love him..!! =)

K till next time, hopefully sometime soon.. *wink*