In Appreciation of Role Models (who didn't have anyone to model after)

Spent last weekend over-nighting at my maternal grandparents' (gp) place. Haven't done that in a long time. It was time well-spent I must say, n in talking to them I learnt a whole lot.. n that left me thinking.

Both pairs of my gps lost either one or both parents when they were young (my maternal gm's father lived till 92; he passed away in 2002 and my paternal gm's mum lived till 64, i think n passed away a few years before i was born; both my gdad's families perished when they were still v young). N looking at how all my uncles and aunts have turned out - successful career people with great children who also perform well academically and otherwise, it is somehow surprising to me that my gps achieved all these without parenting role-models to err.. model after. And I said this out aloud in front of my uncles and my gps while we were having lunch on Sunday afternoon and my 3rd uncle (who's my fav.. by the way.. n that will take a whole life-time to explain why) he stood up n hugged my gm (his mum) n pat my gpa (his dad) on the back n said, "Good job, u guys!". Although this was done in a light-hearted manner, it was symbolically deep for me n it got me thinking of all the struggles that my maternal gps could possibly have gone through in bringing up their 4 children (and my paternal gps, their 7 chn), in this strange cty where they could hardly speak in any language other than Tamil.

My gps all came to Singapore from India, via Malaysia, where they spent some time mixing with the people and learning the Malay language. They were not married then. They were awfully young too. My gmas were ard 14 to17 and my gpas were ard 25 odd. They were subsequently married in Singapore and the wedding was mostly witnessed by friends that they had made through work, or who were neighbbours in the kampongs they lived in. They then set out to find homes and eventually had kids. Without any major help, they fed, bathed, clothed and educated their children... and made them who they are today. I've uncles who are graduates holding top-notch positions, an aunt who has earned enough to emigrate overseas and many other unlces and aunts who are successful in their own chosen careers and life-paths. With these seniors to model after, I know who and where I want to be sometime in the future. BUT the question still lingers... HOW did my gps figure all these out on their own?

They claim they slowly learnt, from their initial mistakes or otherwise. And they say the kids were easy on them too. But, where there are so many bad eggs in society today, brought up by parents of the same generation, how come these kids didn't go wayward? From my parents, uncles and aunts, I understand that my gps valued discipline and morality as key in an individual's character-building, and perhaps with their constant re-inforcement of these ideals, my gps could have consciously or otherwise made their parenting a much easier task. Also, they definitely set good examples for their chn to follow after, so I guess that's fairly impt too.

Upon thinking abt this whole matter of parenting really carefully, I feel that someday when I'm a parent or when my sis n bro turn into parents and I get to experience the whole deal more first-hand, I may better understand what my gps went through. Nevertheless, I'm still v appreciative and in full admiration of their courage, strength and will to ensure their chn lead good lives and here's kudos to their excellent parenting!

Also, I hope in the time I have with them, I will get more oppurtunities to admire them as openly as I did that Sunday during lunch, n to tell them as much as possible that I love them for ethg they have done for me and that I am a better person everyday because I have them in my lives.

And to my maternal gm whom I talk on the phone to for hours almost everyday, I hope that she'll be either be my gm, my mum, my sista or best fren in every birth (i believe in reincarnation) and that God will continue to bless her pure n beautiful soul and keep her around on Earth for as long as He can, so that she can continue to do more good for the people around her.

Oh, n my late gdad (my dad's dad) who almost single-handedly brought me up during my early years, I hope that even though I can't see or hear him anymore, He's still watching over me, and guiding me through Life as I live it everyday. I hope that He's happy wherever He is n no longer in pain (He died of disease) and that He knows that I think of Him n miss Him so much.

At the end of the day, I thank God for blessin me with the presence of gps, and ethg they bring with them: their wisdom, senility, adorability, irritation.. just ethg in a wonderful package tied togther with a beautiful pink bow, a package that u want to keep right beside u all the time and never want to throw away, no, not even the pink bow... although pink may not necessarily be your favourite colour!